Wednesday, 28 December 2011

Stop being obsessed with what women wear

I am sick and tired of people's obsessions and their self-righteousness when it comes to what women wear. It is not a woman’s burden to impress everybody in her society, nor is that even possible to do so. If she poses nude in the pages of a magazine, what’s it to you? If she is entirely covered except for her face, hands and feet behind her desk at work or completely covered while grocery shopping, what’s it to you? If she’s wearing a midriff and short shorts, what’s it to you? If her clothing and style is androgynous, what’s it to you? If she’s dressed in male clothing, what’s it to you? No – really – what is it to you? 

There are self-righteous critics from all sides of the spectrum chastising women for presenting themselves in ways they deem unacceptable.  For example, there are certain groups in society - intolerant, anti-diversity types - who criticise hijabi women for wearing the hijab in the first place, and then there are others who attack women for wearing the hijab in a way they don't approve of (they're normally from within the Muslim community). 

Women just can't please anyone, can they? There has also been a recent fuss over Egyptian woman Aliaa al-Mahdy, also known as the 'nude blogger', for posting nude photos of herself in protest of Egypt's misogyny and the shaming of women. Local figure Deborah Hutton has also been copping flack at the moment for posing nude on the cover of Women's Weekly. 

Modesty police and threat-to-our-way-of life police plague the place. And I’m tired of reading and listening to misinformed and judgmental people attempt at explaining why so-and-so lady did the wrong thing by wearing such-and-such. In an idealistic world, a woman should not have to put up with, or even expect, any kind of response to what she wears – whether it’s applause and admiration, or scathing criticism. But since our world is far from anything idealistic, I support admiration over condemnation. To hell with your obsession.

Thursday, 8 December 2011

What's wrong with being asked about your ethnic background?

I recently came across an article in the Guardian titled 'It may not be racist, but it's a question I'm tired of hearing'. The author writes about how she's frustrated at being constantly questioned about where she comes from. She says that people only ask her where she's from because she's a "bit brown"/"cashew-coloured", and by asking, those people have implied that she is "less British". 

It starts off with:

Last weekend, I had The Conversation for the 3,897th time – and this time, it took place in central London just two roads away from the hospital where I was born. As usual, it went like this:
Stranger: Where are you from? [Translation: You look a bit brown. Why are you brown?]
Me: London.
Stranger: No, where are you really from? [Translation: You are clearly telling me untruths. Brown people do not come from London.]
Me: London.
Stranger (exasperated): No, where are your parents from? [Translation: Now you're just being obtuse.]
Me: Africa and America.
Stranger (confused): Erm … so where are your family from, like, back in the day? [Translation: People who come from Africa and America do not look like you.]
Me: Iran, India, Africa, America and England.
Stranger (relieved): India and Iran! Do you ever go back?
At this point, I have to explain that it's hard to go back to somewhere you have never been. I've lived in London since I was a zygote, have a London accent and don't speak any languages except English – yet just because I'm cashew-coloured, I'm often questioned about my heritage. 

Explaining why it annoys her, she writes:

...It's partly down to exasperation at people thinking I'm less British than them because I'm brown...

Surely this author suffers from acute First World syndrome? It's melodramatic and presumptuous to believe that people only show interest in a person's cultural background to suss out or confirm how 'unauthentic' the person is. When I'm asked about my cultural background, I've never felt that the questioner is insinuating that I'm less Australian. Never have I stopped to think, "Hang on, this person must be inferring that I'm un-Australian or less Australian because I have olive skin and 'distinct' features." Asking a person about their ethnicity is a conversation starter - an ice breaker, really. I personally don't feel judged when I'm asked, nor do I feel objectified. If the questioner is probing me in a patronising way or wearing a Ku Klux Klan cloak, then I may have grounds to believe that they're not asking out of interest. Otherwise, no.

I also find it distateful how the article assumes that those who do the asking are mostly Anglo/white (the 'stereotypical' or majority Brit). I ask people what their cultural background is all the time, whether they're "cashew brown" or pasty white or unmistakably Arab. I'm curious about certain people, and I enjoy knowing/learning about a person's background and lineage. Humans are naturally inquisitive and we tend to want to find out more about people who look distinct or sound distinct. 

It's needless to feel offended by nothing much at all.